Bits Of Babbling

Fast Food Follies

Today I stopped by Chicken Express, a fast food chicken joint in the same vein as Popeye and Colonel Sanders' establishments. My order came to a total of $4.32, so I pulled out $20.32 and waited for the car in front of me to leave the window.

It didn't leave the window.

I waited a bit, then a bit more, then even a bit more. Suddenly I stopped waiting, but only for a brief moment as I read a text message sent by the lovely Meags, then proceeded to wait a bit more.

Finally, the car left the window.

In situations like these, one is apt to blame the customer in front of them for the delay, at 9:35 at night the only thing open is the drive-thru and this car was not behind any other car when it arrived (It arrived a bit before I did, the drive-thru was empty when it got there) so the army of chicken warriors could only possibly be working on this one sole customer's order. It had to be a difficult customer giving them problems with a complicated order, right? Wrong, as I was soon to discover.

I pulled up and was greeted by some girl who started to reach out for my part of the bargain, the $20.32, when the guy who took my order came to the window and indicated this treasure was rightfully his. He then proceeded, as any good cashier should do, to count the money. He even recounted the money. Again, he recounted the money - no, I'm not re-iterating for emphasis, he really did count it a third time. And a fourth time. Perhaps a fifth. He announced he had finally figured out that one 20 dollar bill, 1 quarter, 1 nickel, and 2 pennies adds up to $20.32 and NOT $20.37. This is indeed a difficult concept for any 5 year old to follow, so let me write it out. 20 + .25 + .05 + .01 + .01 != 20.37. He then proceeded to drop the quarter and not pick it up claiming he "didn't care" about the quarter. The extra nickel he kept coming up with sure was a problem, but losing a quarter apparently is not.

He handed me 15 dollars changed and yelled a few times for somebody to bring him some 1s to complete the change-making process. This took a while, but eventually he got me my change. After finally pulling himself together from the stressful addition excercise, he handed me my receipt and bid me a good night. It was an awfully nice "good night," I'll give you that. But it certainly wasn't worth $4.32. I opted to wait for my food rather than settle for a few kind words. Apparently he is not used to such ungrateful cretins as myself to dare stick around after he graced us with his stunning rendition of the familiar late-night good-bye, because he just kind of stared at me for a bit. With a sudden moment of realization that I might want a bit more than a good-night for my $4.32, he handed me my Sprite.

He then proceeded to stare, this time with an 80% more vacant look.

I gave him a few moments to contemplate before mentioning that he had not given me my food. He still did not seem to understand, or perhaps he didn't hear me, but it took quite a while to verbally communicate the idea that he still owed me 4 chicken strips, a biscuit, and some coleslaw. FINALLY, he turned to his left, carefully opened the box on the counter as though it might explode, and looked over the contents. With a red face he resealed the box and handed it to me, and I was on my way.

I think that is my last trip to Chicken Express for a while

Posted by Michael at February 14, 2005 02:28 AM